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Inspiration & Humour

10 Things Only Mountain Bikers Would Understand

September 5, 2015

by Mered­ith Wires

For many peo­ple, moun­tain bik­ing is a lifest­lye. It also has a very dis­tinct cul­ture that goes along with it… and it’s a pret­ty rad cul­ture to boot. As a moun­tain bik­ing com­mu­ni­ty, there are cer­tain expe­ri­ences and cul­tur­al anec­dotes that we can all relate to and have a good laugh over.

HERE ARE 10 THINGS ONLY MOUNTAIN BIKERS WOULD UNDERSTAND…

1. PARDON, YOU WALK IN THE WOODS?

You go for a nice stroll through the for­est with friends, and get a lit­tle jit­tery.  Your head spins around, your palms get sweaty and you wish you had your bike. When hik­ing any trail — you con­sis­tent­ly say to your­self “I could bike this.” Hav­ing two wheels hit the ground ver­sus two feet feels much better!

2. YOU KNOW THE TRUE MEANING OF “DISTRACTED DRIVING”

For­get the cell phones, dis­tract­ed dri­ving sim­ply means check­ing out the type of moun­tain bike strapped to the car in front of you. “I won­der what trails they are going to ride?” “Are those 29ers?” “Hard­tail? Full sus­pen­sion?” So many questions!

3. YOU LOVE THE FEELING OF MUD AGAINST YOUR LEGS

There is some­thing lib­er­at­ing about rid­ing through the mud and return­ing home with dirt on your legs, arms, face… etcetera. It means it was a good ride. Not to men­tion the inside of your car always looks like you just fin­ished a great adventure.

4. YOU FIND PLEASURE IN A POST-RIDE BEVERAGE

Sure, every­one loves to go for a beer, but there is some­thing spe­cial when you earn it on the trail. The next best thing to hit­ting some sin­gle­track, is the post-ride beer after the ride. For moun­tain bik­ers, it’s not just a bev­er­age – it’s a moment to share your trail sto­ries, learn from your trail bud­dies and review your recent bumps and bruises.

5. YOU FIND YOURSELF “CHECKING OUT” BIKES BEFORE BEINGS

Get­ting ready at the trail­head with a group of friends is always an excit­ing time. You can feel the ener­gy and antic­i­pa­tion of the ride ahead. But you may have the ten­den­cy to “check out” oth­er rid­ers in the park­ing lot—and I’m not talk­ing about their butts and strong legs. I’m talk­ing about drool­ing over their bikes and gear.

6. YOU TEND TO HAVE CHAIN GREASE ON YOU – ALL THE TIME

You’re used to that sta­ple grease mark on your right leg or on your hands from doing some trail­side main­te­nance. While oth­er peo­ple might give you strange looks for being ‘dirty’ you are quick to point out moun­tain bik­ers in a crowd that sport the same markings.

7. “PUT A BIKE ON IT”

Mar­ket­ing gets you. Put a pic­ture of a bike on a cof­fee mug, t‑shirt, or stick­er, and its val­ue instant­ly increas­es in your eyes.

8. YOU HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR LOCAL BIKE SHOP.

It’s a lit­tle bit like walk­ing into Cheers, where every­one knows your name. We all know com­mit­ting to moun­tain bik­ing isn’t the eas­i­est on your bank account – but you find shoot­ing the breeze about the lat­est gear or local trails with the bike shop staff is always a great way to spend an hour.

9. LYCRA ISN’T ONLY FOR FIGURE SKATERS AND GYMNAST

Depend­ing on your rid­ing style and pref­er­ences you may have dab­bled in the world of lycra. Lycra gives you speed, tenac­i­ty and once it touch­es your skin – You are ready to race, ready to ride!

10. YOU CLEAN YOUR BIKE MORE THAN YOUR KITCHEN OR BATHROOM

You take pride in a squeaky-clean frame, pol­ished cogs and a lubri­cat­ed chain.  Clean­ing your bike is a nice lit­tle Sun­day after­noon activ­i­ty… after your Sun­day morn­ing ride of course.